Family and Work
In the past, the division of labor was clear: the woman took care of the family
and the household, while the man provided for the necessities of livelihood and
everything else. Back then, children were swaddled, laundry was done by hand,
preserves were made, and even embroidery was common. Now, we have diapers,
washing machines, pre-packaged food, and hardly anyone embroiders anymore. The
job of a homemaker was full-time and it almost seemed immoral for a woman to
engage in other things like work, politics, or even culture instead of taking
care of children and the home.
But the world has changed, fortunately, I would say: women and men now
collaborate in both child-rearing and work, as well as other activities. The
role of a homemaker is no longer as demanding as it once was; any woman, and
even any man, can easily manage it. On the other hand, in our world, being a
homemaker is no longer a fulfilling or appreciated activity for a woman. Being a
homemaker for a modern woman means feeling diminished; there is a need for an
extra-curricular activity, also for economic reasons.
However, there are jobs that require specific hours (such as clerks, teachers)
and others that require full-time commitment (like politicians, managers). For
example, Meloni, nearing the end of her fertile age, finally wanted a child,
whom she then entrusted to other women. Certainly, one cannot adjourn a council
of ministers or a large company meeting because one needs to pick up a child
from school.
On the other hand, those who work as clerks, teachers, laborers, etc., can
organize their day and, with the cooperation of their spouse (who should be
there, according to nature), can work and be the parent of more children. The
result is that women earn less than men on average, not because they are paid
less for the same work, but because they devote more time to parenting, as it is
in the natural order of life.
Let's say then that a career can conflict with family. But there must be space
for caring for an adequate number of children (in practice, at least two), and
life must be organized in this direction because the first natural fulfillment
of both women and men is the continuity of life, without which life is sad and
purposeless.
However, low birth rates are not solely due to the difficulty of balancing work
and family; I would say that this is perhaps a minor cause. There are many other
reasons: difficulty in finding stable work, the lengthy time to find it, the
high level of welfare we are accustomed to. I would say especially the breakdown
of the family; everyone wants to do what they like without feeling obliged, they
don't even want the marital bond, all things that conflict with the stability
that childhood needs.
Nevertheless, nobody wants to give up having a child, even if it's only one,
especially women who seem to go mad at a certain age when they can no longer
conceive.
So I would say that what makes us happy, fulfilled, is not just doing what we
like in the moment, but realizing our humanity, which unfolds (though not
exclusively) in the family because we are social beings.
However, this doesn’t mean that all men and all women must necessarily have
children; some may forgo this to dedicate themselves to other tasks. Once,
people entered religious life; now there are many other alternatives as well.
But the general choice can only be family, not only for women but also for men.
Fatherhood is just as natural as motherhood, but it's structured a bit
differently: for the mother, the joy lies in embracing her newborn; for the man,
it's the continuity of life. Our life makes sense if it continues even after us
in our beloved children and even more beloved grandchildren.
The difficulty of balancing work and family therefore concerns men as well: a
career should not preclude it and sometimes it is necessary to settle for a
slightly less brilliant career but still dignified and also enjoy the joy of
fatherhood: there are fathers who end up becoming strangers to their own family,
leaving all the responsibility to their wives: this too is not natural.
The problem is that children need a lot of care: those who are fully committed
to succeeding in their work have no time for children: Meloni claims to be a
mother but in fact, she doesn't act like one, delegating the task to another
woman for payment.
In theory, we could think that men should take care of the children but in this
case, we would only reverse the roles, which is not easy to implement.
Parents are nevertheless conditioned by their children: those who want to be
free to do as they please should not have emotional ties.
In some way, love and freedom are in conflict: I would say that love takes
priority.
There was talk of responsible parenthood instead of birth control to emphasize
that one wanted to have children but in the right number. But with the current
birth rate trend, we are heading towards catastrophe and then we should only
talk about responsible parenthood if each couple has at least two children.