The Rules of Sexuality
Since '68, the common idea that has emerged regarding sex is that it is a personal, very personal matter, within which each person can do whatever they want, as long as they do not in any way force the other party, who is generally identified as the woman. From this conception arises, on the one hand, a great sensitivity to violence against women, a concept that is expanded to the point where it becomes difficult to clearly identify its limits. Above all, however, it is believed that in this intimate field no limits can be imposed, distinctions between homosexuality and heterosexuality up to the so-called liquid sex, modalities of relationships that range from sadomasochism to other practices: in short, there are no sexual deviations but all are equally normal variants.
It was said in '68 that having sex should be as natural as drinking a glass of water, without considering that the psychological, social, and existential implications are much more engaging. Undoubtedly, some of these demands are legitimate and reasonable, but is such a conception taken integrally and uncritically realistic and sensible? We don't think so: it is not at all true that societies, and especially our own, do not have rules in the sexual field because it would be senseless.
It seems to me that no one can deny that the natural purpose of sexuality is procreation, that is, the continuity of life, which for every living being is the most important thing. No one doubts that sexual organs serve reproduction just as eyes serve seeing, ears serve hearing, and the stomach serves digestion. The problem is that we humans do not rigidly follow instincts (nature) as other living beings do, but, as intelligent beings, we create our own rules; however, it is also true that we cannot live without them. In fact, while animals have sex only at particular times and places according to instincts, we can have sex anytime and, currently, according to statistics, only 1.3 times in life do we have sex to have children, and all the other times (and there are many) only for the pleasure of it.
In the past, infant mortality was very high, life was short and difficult, and every group was always on the brink of extinction. Even royal families, endowed with every wealth, became extinct. Therefore, it was considered immoral to have sex while trying to avoid generating. Subsequently, however, birth rates increased dramatically and in China, they went so far as to ban the third child by law (practically compulsory abortion).
In our society, however, low birth rates have become a truly serious and impending danger, and therefore efforts are made to increase births: we should at least reach two children per couple. As we can see, sexuality is not a private and personal matter but affects society precisely in its existence, in the continuity of life itself, and for this reason, all societies have regulated it in various ways. Contrary to what is thought, even in our society there are rules, sometimes stricter than those of the past. For example, fidelity in a couple is now required and, if in the past husbands' infidelities were allowed, now no woman accepts it anymore. And so there is greater sensitivity for minors (having sex with a 17-year-old girl becomes outright rape), persistent courting is a crime. It seems that when having sex with a woman it would be better to ask for written permission (as Sheldon does in The Big Bang Theory).
Only some rules have changed, I don't know if with positive or negative consequences, especially due to the spread of contraceptives. In animals, the care of offspring ends in a limited time, after which the parental relationship ends and the parents are available for another generation. Instead, for us humans, the care of offspring practically lasts a lifetime and when children generate in turn, we become grandparents, parents twice as they say: animals do not become grandparents. Sexuality is a force that keeps the couple united, giving stability to the family that children greatly need. A lack or excess of sexual desire can inevitably cause conflict with the other spouse, undermining the family harmony that the little ones (but also the older ones) greatly need.
Therefore, those wise unwritten rules of mutual satisfaction that each must strive to follow are necessary. Betrayals and indifference to desire endanger the whole family. Even certain sexual modalities are not compatible with the family: think, for example, of sadomasochistic unions: the child cannot certainly see the mother kept on a leash or whipped by the father, even if this may be pleasing and exciting for the mother.
Obviously, not everyone necessarily has to become parents. One can also renounce the family, but it is an exceptional thing, difficult to achieve because at a certain point one feels the need to have children to continue one's life. It is difficult and sad to grow old without having a supportive family around. In the past, those who renounced the family entered a religious family, which was still a family that gave them support and security.